Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
