the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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