she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
