Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
