I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
