Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
