I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
A bitchslap is in order.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
