im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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