he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
