no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
