Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
