The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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