I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
