I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
