if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
