I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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