fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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