Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
