this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
