i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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