bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drake has all the answers
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
