We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
