Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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