yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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