my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
