The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We need to feng shui this bitch.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
