he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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