you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
