just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
