Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
