i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
