dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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