This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
