I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
