i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
