i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
