i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
