How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
