I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
