you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
