do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
