? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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