Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
