So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
