wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
