If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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