Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
