my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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