All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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