if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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