At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
