If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
