remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
