I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need to sanitize my soul.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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